I got Covid-19 the week of the Dutch Experts gig at the Main Street Museum. I was cleared to be in public the day before the show. I had already given up my spot and that was for the better. I was having trouble breathing and my voice was really raspy. Wicked Louder's slot was taken by Burial Woods, who I believe are from the Burlington, VT area. In a nutshell, BB Dozer was more expansive and weirder than their Bandcamp page would lead you to believe. Burial Woods are unabashedly retro darkwave, and their songs are melodic and catchy. And after a nail-biting technical problem at the start of the set, Dutch Experts showed what a few weeks of being on a tour of the East Coast will do for harnessing the energy of the gods. As you may be surmising, I was at the show. I just felt like tepid dogshit.
Following that weekend I went through a bout of ‘Why The Fuck Am I Doing This Anyway?’ I took a four-day weekend from my day job over Labor Day and spent some time with my wife and did some home maintenance. We went to the Larkin-Poe show in Fairlee, VT that weekend as well. Talk about wondering why I bother with being an artist… Those women have chemistry, charisma, serious chops, and are totally at home on a stage. It's been a long time since I felt any of those things were true about me. The conclusion I took away from that very special night out with my wife was that I needed to pause and hit reset on my creative work.
With only three sessions of sound design to show for since getting Covid-19 I haven't played a note otherwise. I've been watching interesting videos on YouTube, rediscovering some favorite albums and listening to some new stuff, gazing at clouds and sunsets, and engaging in some overdue and much needed introspection. The result of this soul-searching has been a new gameplan in regard to my life as an artist. In all my previous musical projects I was the self-appointed asshole in charge of quality control. As that relates to live performance, I have been falling woefully short of even my lowest of standards. As stated in my previous blog, I have a lot on my plate, but the work must be executed with deliberate care not hasty shoddiness. That's all I really want to share for now about something so personal as my creative process. I had a really good conversation about all of that with a fellow artist I really respect, and I have worked out some of the blues I have been internalizing. In short, I am not giving up, but I do have a new strategy.
In the next few days, be on the lookout for a blog about the What Doth Life Rumble and all of the bands that played as well as some new video content online.